Talking to Barbara
I just got off the phone with Barbara. I’ve not been able to get in touch with her for awhile and it had me worried.
She just got out of the hospital today and was feeling a bit down, a state that’s rare for her. I’m sure she certainly has her moments when she’s alone but to others she is so brave.
She found out she had cancer back in 1996 … ovarian. She has certainly beat the odds but unfortunately, her cancer has taken over a lot of her body now. She has a hard time staying hydrated and any ounce of physical activity wears her out, not to mention the fact that she’s lonely a big part of the time which just kills me.
Our conversation started out slow. I told her she sounded depressed and she admitted that she was but by the end of our conversation there was laughter and comments about the men in our lives, mostly our sons. We had to cut our phone call short because her cell was dying. I found myself wanting to keep our contact at that moment going for as long as I could. After we hang up, I always feel a bit helpless because, although I know she’s enjoyed our conversation and bantering back and forth, I also know that when she lays down that phone, she retreats back into her own living hell that is cancer.
I confessed to her that I’ve not been to my GYN in a long time and left her with the promise that I would call soon and make an appointment. She feels that if she had gone in for a check up sooner, she may not be where she is today. Now, I know that God has His plan and I accept that. But I’ve vowed to do my part by making the choice to get in for a check up soon.
It’s all about the choices we make and if we let God lead us in those choices then, hopefully, in our existence as humans on this planet Earth, we’ll make the right ones. I believe that it’s when we make the wrong choices that we need to accept the will of God and bow down to His mercy and let Him guide us through our mistakes. All we have to do is accept.
As to my friend … hang in there sweety. I love ya.
Monday Morning
Now I remember what I like about daylight savings time in the spring. Quiet, dark, early mornings. Calming to my soul. Plus I have more light time to get things done outside at night.
Speaking of … our yard is looking bad. Depending on what is happening next weekend, I think I’ll start trying to get it in shape. Most of the yard duties fall on Cleve but he’s been so busy with work lately, there’s not been time to do anything at home. Our neighbors have their yards looking good (at least cleaned up from the winter). You know, ya gotta keep up with them or you’ll stick out like a sore thumb. And not in a good way!
This weekend was ok I guess. I worked off and on plus I waited to get a phone call from work yesterday about some ad proofs that were left hanging on Friday. The call never came and I have to say I’m more than a bit annoyed at the whole situation. Cleve says to let it go. Which means it’ll happen again and again. I don’t know what to do. I guess letting it go for now is the right thing to do (for me) … if I don’t, I’ll blow a gasket. So, needless to say, I have no idea what’s facing me and Iva Jean this morning. Maybe there were no corrections. A phone call either way would have been nice.
Spencer called yesterday asking about our family tree. It seems that one of Skye’s assignments in school is doing her family tree up to her great-great grandparents. I was shocked at what I didn’t know. The only branch I knew for sure was my mother’s. I didn’t even know my grandmother’s (my dad’s mother) name. We just always called her grandmama. I guess I need to write these things down for future generations of our children. I have my mom’s family history in a book and I know that she has some of my dad’s at her house. I had no clue about Cleve’s family, beyond his parents.
We were hoping to do the web cam with them but Spencer never called back. I guess Skye got sleepy plus she has school today and had to get to bed early. The time difference between here and England is a pain sometimes.
Gotta go and shower and scoot to work. I want to get there early this morning to see what wonderful surprises await me! Ugh!!
Oh! and by the way … there was absolutely no weight loss last week. But there was no gain either. I’m back on it today.
Saturday Catchup
Well, it’s Saturday and I actually made it through the week without bloodshed. No small feat.
I’m pretty sure my weight loss effort has suffered this week although I’ve tried to be good. Stress does that to me … and I don’t think the donuts I ate last night helped any 
. But, they were there (thanks Joanne!! Ugh!) and are GREAT stress food. I guess I’ll find out how bad I was when I step on the scales tomorrow morning. Yikes!
Today, I think, will be trying to catch up on some things both work related and house related, although, it’s almost noon and all I’ve managed to do is two loads of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen and made breakfast after that so I have to clean it up again, and finished up website updates on our newspaper website and got that uploaded (2 days late). Hmm. I guess I HAVE gotten a few things accomplished already. But, the afternoon awaits and there’s miles to go before I rest.
I haven’t heard from the boys lately. I know that Spencer’s real busy at work as is Joe. Both of their jobs involve serving the people. That makes me proud. They make me proud. I miss them both.
The last time I talked to Spencer, Skye was doing well. She went to her first sleepover last week at a friend’s house and had a ball. She’s almost seven-years-old so it’s about this time that she’ll start to want to spread her wings a bit. “Spread them carefully, babygirl”.
On a more serious note … I’ve been keeping an eye on someone’s blog for the past few days … someone who is battling cancer. I just read about some unexpected bad news she received. My prayers go up for Marisa and her family.
Ok … I guess I’d better get back to the endless “stuff” that forever surrounds me.
Note: Acceptance is a gift.
On a Rant
Far be it from me to think that I know everything. I don’t. But what I do know is when something doesn’t feel right or is just plain annoying.
We have this nice newly renovated office. We used to call our old office “the cave” … that’s how bad it was. Wouldn’t you think that people would try to keep our new place nice, pick up after themselves, wash their own dishes, clean up their own spills???? Why would anyone think that their time is more precious than mine (or anyone else’s) and that I have more of it and not only that, but would love to spend it cleaning up after other people?
I am sorry to complain but, I for one, am tired of it. If everyone would take one, maybe two minutes to wash up their glass, coffee cup and clean up their mess this would not be a problem. I busted one of our reporters on it last night. I guess my name will be mud because I was the one who spoke out. So be it. I don’t even care anymore.
Betty, our receptionist, has taken on the role, out of the goodness of her heart, (not her job, mind you) of making sure we have what we need from the store … keeping us stocked up on drinks, water, paper stuff, coffee, etc. Well, it also seems that there’s a handicap in our office concerning stocking the fridge. Betty and I have been filling it up when it gets low and last week, just to see how long it would take for someone else to put drinks and water back in it, we vowed we wouldn’t touch it. Well, it got down to one drink left and NO water. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I caved. Yes, I filled it back up. See, that’s what happens. They wait until someone else does it. This just ain’t right.
I do not mind helping others. In fact, I long to do so. But, what I’m talking about is just plain tacky and thoughtless.
And while I’m on a rant … speaking of tackiness … ya don’t pass around a birthday card to just a couple of people to sign (not in an office as small as ours) without giving everyone a chance to sign it. How can someone not see how wrong that is?
Now, as I read back over this, these things seems petty. It’s just that when you get a bunch of “petty” going on at the same time, it seems mountainous. Then you gotta deal with your OWN work load (and in my case, others) and issues. It’s too much at times.
Well, I have sufficiently ranted and raved here which was not my intention this morning … my peaceful and quiet time and I’ve only scratched the surface. I’ve resolved myself to the fact that I don’t have anyone to talk to about these things … not complaining, just a fact. Maybe I’ll feel a little bit lighter today.
Gettin’ Through the Day
Dear Lord … get me through this day. It has every potential of being a toughy.
Yesterday I got all the ads completed that I could leaving Iva Jean in pretty good shape but I’m sure more will pile on and I just don’t have the time today to help out but I know that I’ll have to.
Also, God, help me to remember to be patient with people today. I often lose my sense of self when I get so overwhelmed. That’s not good and it doesn’t feel real nice either.
Sigh … all of this, too, shall pass. There are people out there enduring more stress, problems and pain than me. I pray for them as well.
God bless.
Busy Week Already
I had started writing a post early this morning and ran out of time. I saved it with every intention of finishing it up. But when I logged on this evening and pulled it up, I found that the rantings in that post were not what I wanted to write about and not the way I felt tonight … and anyway, my day was better than yesterday. Probably busier but better. My saved draft was a “woe is me” kind of post. Sometimes stepping back and letting some time pass helps put things in perspective. I struggle with that day to day.
One of my girls is out this week on her senior trip to New York and the other one is off every Wednesday so, let’s see … what did I do today?? A lot of everything and most of that was done at pretty much the same time. There are things that have been left undone concerning the accounting part of my job but hopefully I’ll be able to catch up tomorrow.
Between subscription drives, advertising orders, graphics and composition work, bookkeeping, website updates and computer technical issues and paper jams (why does everyone only call me? Somehow, I’ve been dubbed the “computer fixer/printer unjammer person in the office) my day was a day!
I’m holding out for the weekend .
Note: I’m not able to reach Barbara. I worry about her.
Week 2 and Still Going
It’s week #2. You know … that dreaded 2nd week of “dieting” that usually makes you or breaks you. Well it does in my case anyway. I survived week #1 and did very well. Lost five pounds. Seems like when I start moving into week two I get a bit bored and tend to slip up more often than not and that eventually leads to failure.
I may be cursing my progress by writing about it here. I vowed to myself that this would be a private battle … a struggle that never ends for me. But, no one reads this anyway plus it’s a good way to get my thoughts out without actually “telling” someone.
I have to say, this time it feels different. I keep in very close contact with God on this and if I am able to succeed it will be because of Him.
Anyway … here’s to week #2 and to remembering that it’s not going to happen overnight.
